i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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