you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
soo... how was my night?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
