I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
