She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
