Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
