i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
A+ Viking dick
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
