you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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