It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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