look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
How's work?
Spinning.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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