I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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