So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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