so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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