remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
