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You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
