dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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