yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
