i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
