everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
