so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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