you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Did I show you my penis last night?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
