im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
