Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
