just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize