there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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