Already got asked if we're dating
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
