She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize