what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
