Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
