bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
