Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
