3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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