I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
