allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
