i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
