so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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