i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
