Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
