no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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