sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
