He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
