So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
