Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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