i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
