what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
