There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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