Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
