Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize