when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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