If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
