So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
we're making bets on your personal life
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
