i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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