I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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