We're facebook friends in real life
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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