we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
