Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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