why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
