I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
