SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
