wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize