Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
