That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You're like the curious george of whores
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
