my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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